Yo Mum Jokes (British Humor)

I love some British humor. And nothing beats a good “Yo Mum” joke–you know, the British equivalent to America’s “Yo Mama” jokes. I think Yo Mum jokes are absolutely hilarious . . . as long as the jokes aren’t said to me or my mum. Because one thing’s for certain: you don’t be jokin’ ’bout my mum. But other people’s mums? Yeah–fair game. Here are some of my favorite all-time ”Yo Mum” jokes.

1. Yo Mum so fat, she wears Big Ben on her wrist.
2. Yo Mum so stinky, her perfume is named ”Thames River.”
3. Yo Mum so ugly, Henry the Eighth took one look at her and chopped off his own head.
4. Yo Mum so poor, Charles Dickens be writing novels about her.
5. Yo Mum so hunched, Charles Darwin had second thoughts.
6. Yo Mum so stupid, when she needs to go to the Loo, she goes to a guy named “Lou” (and then urinates on him) (and then gets arrested).
7. Yo Mum so old, she knitted William the Conqueror’s socks.
8. Yo Mum so short, J.R.R. Tolkien wrote a fantasy series about her.
9. Yo Mum teeth so nasty, British people be encouraging her to go to the dentist.
10. Yo Mum feet so big, she wears a Wellington Boot on each toe.
11. Yo Mum so lazy, at tea time, she sucks on an unwrapped tea bag and eats crumpet dough.
12. Yo Mum hair so moppy, the Beatles be showing pictures of her to the barber before they get a haircut.
13. Yo Mum such a scary-looking ho, when Jack the Ripper saw her, he ran straight to Scotland Yard to turn himself in.
14. Yo Mum so large, the Underground rides her.
15. Yo Mum so dull at a party, when Prince Harry’s there, he keeps his pants on.
16. Yo Mum so dumb, she spells “colour” with a “k.”
17. Yo Mum such a druggie, when she’s at the pub, she orders pints of crack.
18. Yo Mum so backwards, she drives on the right side of the road.
19. Yo Mum so manly, Sir Winston Churchill smokes her cigar butts.
20. Yo Mum such a freak of nature, Stephen Hawking can’t explain her.
21. Yo Mum wears so much make-up, she put Boy George out of business.